Ever been engaged and casually paged through a 12-month planning
checklist in a wedding magazine? It’s enough to drainthat pre-wedding
glow right out of you.
Once you feel empowered enough to ditch the wedding “traditions” that aren’t your style, you’ll find your new, improved planning checklist to be much more manageable. Your stress might even (imagine this!) decrease! It welcomes the relief that filled you with more energy to pour into the ideas you do want to bring to life for your wedding. Which will lead to a very perfect, personalized day. Here are a few of the wedding traditions we see our couples opting out of (and don’t get arrested by wedding police for doing so haha):
While I love watching the mother-groom/ father-bride dances at other weddings, Some brides do not romanticize about ideas of them at their own wedding. Sometimes it is the first “big thing” couples decide on not doing, and they actually asked me if it was okay that they didn’t. I of course laughed and said “Of Course!” It was illuminating.
The bouquet/garter toss
This sometimes is not as much a decision made out of shyness, so much as it was made out of preference. Making all of your single friends huddle in center of the dance floor for all to gawk at, then lunge at a bundle of (expensive! beautiful!) flowers hurdling toward them is not some brides idea of “indispensable tradition.” The same sometimes goes for the garter toss protocol. Nothing makes some brides cringe more than photos of a groom with his entire top half up his bride’s skirt while 150 wedding guests look on.
Taking a honeymoon right after our wedding day
It’s so romantic to think about celebrating the happiest day of your life one day, sleeping off the festivities with your newly minted spouse, then jetting off to some exotic locale with suitcases packed and sunhats the morning after. Like, who wouldn’t want that? And as much as every couple want (and need!) a vacay after 18 months of hardcore planning, sometimes it is best—for your bank accounts, and sanity—to hold off on the honeymoon until later in the year. We recommend the day after the wedding, to take a short weekend escape maybe to the coast of Maine, Martha’s Vineyard or maybe Nantucket or somewhere do-able and close and now have a real honeymoon to look forward to later in the year!
Keeping our vows a surprise
Some couples are afraid that they will totally lose it at the altar while reading and receiving our handwritten vows. One way some couples attempt to cut down the weep factor is by rendezvousing after your rehearsal dinner, before parting ways the night before the wedding, and exchanging vows then, just the two of you! It serves as a sweet, intimate moment of rest from an otherwise whirlwind few days. You are able to cry, laugh, blow your noses in unattractive ways, whatever—and really listen to and process one another’s vows without any distractions or inhibitions.
That’s just a few of the traditions we see couples throw to the wayside to throw their version of the perfect wedding. Ultimately, planning your wedding is about more than choosing linen colors and floral arrangements. It’s about choosing a flow for the day that makes you and your fiancé comfortable, carefree and happy. And once you realize no one minds at all that you and your dad aren’t dancing to a Frank Sinatra song (or anything at all!) during the reception, you’ll feel more confident to cut and fold that wedding day itinerary till it’s perfectly you two. Just don’t cut cocktail hour. It’s one of the very best parts! 😉